We decided to base our conversation on goal setting with each of us choosing a goal for this coming year. We used forms that we had created and gave them a test run. I created a SMARTeR goal form (in the shared drive resource folder) and Laurie created a sheet based on Mentoring Matters to help focus the conversation.
I found it extremely helpful to bounce the goal I have off someone other than my cat. It helped remind me what unique positions we are in and the value of having someone with similar experience to discuss ideas with. I think we could all use that! It was also great to get some ideas of how to progress in achieving my goal. Thank you Laurie.
I found being the listener a bit harder. I didn't have much trouble listening. I had shut myself off into a room with no distractions so that helped a lot. However, I was reminded of the fact that I DO NOT LIKE having conversations like this on video or over the phone. You miss so much not being face to face. I had a terrible time knowing where to look. If I looked at Laurie it looked like I was looking off to the side. If I looked at the camera I couldn't see body/facial reactions. It's a challenge.
I really think it was very helpful to get information ahead of time. Sharing my goal ahead forced me as the goal creator to get it on paper and think through some of the minutia. Having Laurie's goal ahead really helped me think of questions that might hopefully be helpful to her in organizing her own thoughts.
In our post conversation conversation we discussed my concern about taking notes and looking like I wasn't paying attention. I know myself and that I will forget a thought within minutes if I don't write down a note. Of course I will remember the thought but it will be the next day or even the next week which is not too helpful in the mentoring conversation arena. I also know that at one point when I was the listener I started to ask a question when it left my head and there was no note to help me. I'm hoping my recovery wasn't noticeable.
Another thing I thought about during this exercise is the use of language. My language style tends to be a bit relaxed most of the time. This is not to say that I couldn't hold my own in a conversation with the Queen but that type of conversation is not my norm. I want to be sure in a conversation with a mentee that I speak in a way that sounds genuine but still maintains the Mentoring Matters quality of the exchange. I think with practice that will happen but it's something to keep in mind.
Finally, I noted that I was a bit fidgety. While I do have some trouble sitting still, note to self, do not have important video discussions sitting in the husband's office chair which is too big for you so your feet don't touch the floor and you have a tendency to spin like you did at the Newberry lunch counter when you were a child. Remember to opt for the straight back chair with feet planted on the floor.
I appreciate your point that both mentor and mentee benefit from being "forced" to get something (third point/goal) on paper before the meeting, especially when this is happening for real, with the clock ticking, so to speak.
ReplyDeleteHi Amy,
ReplyDeleteIn the posts that I have seen in response to this task, it has become clear to me that it has included the benefit for all of us to learn with and from each other, not just skills,but content wise. By taking time to think about your own goals and then to analyze them with colleague is icing on the cake. The challenge of practicing in the remote environment is just that-a huge jump. I could not imagine trying to mentor or coach someone in cyberspace without some practice.
You have done fine job zeroing in on the spots that were most beneficial, and also spots that you identified as places to improve on.
BTW, I'm sure your cat has some fine feedback for you, too. Meow! Do you know the AA Milne poem: Kitty cat, kitty cat, where have you been? I've been to London to see the Queen... Kitty cat, kitty cat, what did you there? I frightened a little mouse under her chair...
Judy
I would love to hear about a mentor conversation you might have with the Queen someday! Everyone can use a mentor! Thanks for sharing this; I am seeing a pattern about the digital listening stance and where to look, whether we are distracted taking notes, and feeling like listening seems more awkward online. Very relatable for all of us and I appreciate you sharing. I agree about the prep ahead of time as well; don't want to let that get lost in the busy schedule of the school year; I think it will be really important to have some things ahead of time to be as intentional as possible.
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